


pockets full of stones

by EmilyKaldwin



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Also fighting a big monster if you're into that, Angst, Drowning, Gen, Magic always comes with a price, When the mission doesnt go as planned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-18
Updated: 2018-04-18
Packaged: 2019-04-24 12:09:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14355147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmilyKaldwin/pseuds/EmilyKaldwin
Summary: **Betrayal?**That wasn’t good. He thought he hated that voice already but hearing it angry made him want to crawl into a hole and hide for a century.He couldn’t let them die.****When Fjord has to choose between his patron's word or his team, he thinks he makes the right choice.But every gift can be taken away.





	pockets full of stones

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Florence + The Machine's [What the Water Gave Me](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=am6rArVPip8)
> 
> Idea taken from tin-pan-ali's [post](http://tin-pan-ali.tumblr.com/post/172967719309), I hope I did it justice

“ _CALEB!_ Get your ass behind that rock _now!”_

 

This was bad. This was very bad.

 

They had been travelling north for a while now, stopping for odd jobs along the way, and slowly but surely Fjord had found himself stupidly attached to the band of idiots who called themselves “The Mighty Nein” for some reason. Weakness. But hell, he couldn’t help it. Which meant that when some giant fuckin’ _eel demon_ turned out to be what was hiding in the caves under that way-too-charming town and it seemed very keen on taking a bite out of his new friends, he couldn’t really do anything else than stand his ground and make sure the little shit would have a run for its money.

 

“Let me _concentrate_ , verdammt! Beauregard is right there, I can’t let her get _eaten_ Fjord!”

 

The wizard looked even more frazzled than usual, his hair a messy halo while his fingers twitched with the spells his mind was going through. Out from the corner of his eye, Fjord could spot Beau in her best fighting stance following the tentacle in front of her with her slightly panicked eyes. Yasha was busying herself with another tentacle, hacking at it with a frenzy he’d almost call beautiful if he couldn’t spot the frantic glances she shot at the monk and at Molly. Goddamn spitfire was trying to distract the beast it looked like, twirling his glowing swords and screaming what were certainly colourful obscenities in Infernal every time the thing tried to attack one of them - that devil was going to give him a heart attack. There was a Jester running around the damp cave floor, the real one hiding behind a rock next to them and mumbling quietly through what he knew was the summoning words for her flashy glowing lollipop - which, hey, whatever works. He couldn’t see Nott anywhere but he knew she was lurking close when he saw one of the creature’s eyes suddenly blinded by a crossbow bolt, a suspicion confirmed by a ringing in his mind not a second later:

 

“Keep Caleb safe!!! You can reply to this message!!!”

 

“I’m fuckin’ _trying_ Nott, your boy won’t listen to me! Over!”

 

This was bad. _Think, Fjord, think, use your fuckin’ brain for something for once_ \- water monster demon thing, Caleb has fire, maybe it’s weak to necrotic shit, maybe divine stuff, maybe a lot of things but they didn’t have _time_ to try shit they couldn’t make it this time they had to-

He could send it back.

 

“Caleb cover me I’ve got an idea, don’t you _dare_ get out from behind that damn rock though” and he bolted towards the monster without giving the wizard time to protest. Just sixty goddamn feet of slimy tentacle, he could make it, this was a terrible plan but it was going to _work_.

 

Of course, because shit wasn’t already complicated enough, a voice that instantly threw him back to a dark ocean sounded off in the back of his head.

 

**_Don’t._ **

 

_My friends are in danger, I need to help them_

 

**_Ally. Don’t._ **

 

_WELL TELL YOUR FRIEND TO STOP EATING MINE!_

 

One more step and he’d be in range, he could send that thing back to where it came from and everyone would be _fine_ , he could spin it later for the big guy it was fine-

 

**_Betrayal?_ **

 

That wasn’t good. He thought he hated that voice already but hearing it angry made him want to crawl into a hole and hide for a century.

 

One more step.

 

_I can’t let them die_

 

He could tell himself later that those weren’t tears of fear, it was _fine_ , he just had to save his friends and everything would be _fine_ , his hands were already going through the motions of the spell and, even while being terrified out of his mind, he couldn’t help but notice with pride a similar fear gleaming in the demon’s eyes.

 

Swirling green ropes of smoke snaked out from his outstretched palm with his pained yell, and wrapped themselves around the creature with otherworldly speed. With Yasha and Beau quickly stepping away from the twitching monster, Fjord sent his mind forward and willed the smoke to tear away at the barriers between planes, to find purchase in whatever horrid place this thing called home and _pull_.

 

The smoke was covering all of it now, keeping the thrashing tentacles in place, and three ribbons wrestled the thing’s mouth open to pour themselves down its throat as it screeched. With a few more seconds, the shape of the monster was completely obscured, and Fjord could only stand there panting, concentrating and _hoping_ this would work. Oh gods, please, make it work.

 

It seemed to be years before the smoke finally dispersed. And, to his big goddamn relief, with no eel demon thing in the middle of it. Finally letting go of the strain, he let himself fall to his knees, while the rest of the group came to the realization the fight was over in their own time.

 

“Fjord you- you beautiful idiot how did you- sailor I could kiss you right now” Molly was already close by, sitting down next to him and holding him by the shoulders, one of his full-bodied laughs ready to burst from him. Beau almost tripped over herself running over to him, a grin sitting on her lips, and he could hear Jester doing the same behind him with a concerned “Fjord! Are you okay?”

 

“Let him breathe a little, you’re going to overwhelm him” Fjord turned to look at Caleb, who was holding on to Nott as she was clinging to his coat, and the wizard smiled at him in his usual unsure way.

 

This was good. He had made the right choice. Everything was fine, he-

 

Fjord coughed. Once, twice, then without stopping.

 

Something.

 

Something was wrong with his throat.

 

_Fuck._

 

“Fjord? Are you alright?” it sounded like Beau this time, but he couldn’t really tell as his whole body was thrown forward with each attack on his lungs, and soon enough the coughing became gasping for air that refused to go through.

 

He felt the cold rock floor under his hands before he realised he had fallen forward, a familiar feeling blocking up his throat.

 

**_Consume_ **

 

Saltwater was filling his mouth, more and more creeping out every time he tried to spit it out, the taste of salt and iron invading his mind as he choked.

 

From the back of his mind, he could almost hear laughter, cold and cruel and otherworldly, coating his senses like oil as his friends screamed around him.

 

His eyes were clouding over with each ruined breath, gagging on the endless flow of ocean that tried to claim him once, and his throat _burned_ more and more as the seconds passed.

 

**_Waste._ **

 

“Cast _something_ , for fuck’s sake! You can’t let him _die_!”

 

“I’m trying Molly I’m trying, I don’t know I don’t know what would help I’m sorry I don’t know I’m trying to do cure wounds but it’s not _working_!”

 

“-ing lights firebolt friends alarm burning hands chromatic orb, scheiße no this won’t work, detect magic identify unseen serv-”

 

“Fjord, stay with me man, you can’t go yet, you still owe me ten gold you asshole you can’t go, come on man, don’t you fucking dare-”

 

He wanted to tell them all it was going to be okay but the world was closing on him, trapping him in an airless prison as water kept spilling out of his mouth and he just wanted to _rest_ , let go of the burning and the choking and the asshole taunting him in his mind.

 

 

_Too much water, too much, can’t breathe_

  


 

He felt so _heavy_ , his blood ringing in his ears, and he couldn’t. Hold on anymore. Too much water. Too much of everything.

  


 

 

_Can’t breathe._

  
  


 

 

He could almost hear the waves calling to him, as the world became darkness and pain.

  
  


 

 

_Can’t._

  
  
  


 

 

 

 

Someone was yelling.

**Author's Note:**

> For those curious, the thing the gang is fighting is an Aboleth and the spell Fjord casts is Banishment.
> 
> I almost gave it a happy ending but hey, I love pain and suffering >:)


End file.
